I am considering returning to school — this fall. I feel weird about it because I’m 49 years old, I’ll be the laughing stock of the campus, I’ll be retiring in a little more than 10 years, it’ll take too long, will it be a waste of money, by the time I pay back the money for loans, it’ll be time to retire, no I’ll take that back, I’ll probably retire a million years from now still owing school loans. But for some reason, I just want to go. Anyway, I just sent a fax to my old community college for my transcript and we’ll see what happens, the new school might laugh me out of the office, but then again, they might actually accept my sorry butt into that particular school.
I’ve been doing my best to make myself feel better — I’m trying to eat better, trying to walk further, doing stretching exercises in the morning as I try to get out of that damned water bed, going to a knitting club on Tuesday nights, and most of all — I try to laugh. The movie that I went to on Sunday was “Momma Mia” with Meryl Streep — of course it was a great movie. Meryl Streep was in it so of course it was great. There is no nudity, but for heaven’s sake, don’t take the kids — the movie is full of sexual innuendos – I felt guilty in taking No.2 son. Adults would love it though and with Streep’s great acting, I just loved it. And I would even see it again if I get a spare moment without kids. Y’all ought to go see it.
I also wanted to let you know that I completed the Deborah Smith novel “Gentle Rain” about the young woman who found out she was adopted. The book was good, although a little to well wrapped up, you knew how the book would end, there were no surprises, but Ms. Smith is a good writer and I enjoyed the book, I just didn’t love it.
I have found a way to start my mornings in a positive manner – I try to dress in something that makes me feel okay, or even good sometimes, about myself. Does the color complement my skin tone? Do those pants make my butt look bigger, damn, it’s already big enough, I don’t need it to look bigger. You know, things like that. This morning, I got up and felt like wearing a dress, so I pulled a cute skirt that I bought recently off the hanger and got dressed. The skirt is made of crepe wrinkled fabric that is popular right now. I love the colors in the skirt — light slate blue background with leaves and flowers of white, light brown, and darker shades of slate blue. I actually found a dark slate blue shirt that complements the skirt beautifully and I have a white, loose blouse that I use as a jacket. I always feel so well-put-together, you know? Every time I wear it, I feel confident in how I look, you know, not quite the beached whale that I normally look. I’ve lost a couple of pounds which makes me feel good also. After dressing this morning, I nodded at my reflection in the mirror for approval, took another swallow of coffee, looked at the time and panicked because I was running late, grabbed up my white blouse that I use as a jacket and threw it on, snatched up my purse, and ran out the door.
Although I was running more than five minutes late, I was well-satisfied with my commute, the summer-time traffic was actually moving between 7 and 10 miles per hour (during the school year, it might move an inch or so every five minutes). When the traffic slowed, I lowered my visor and put on some lipstick. Before leaving home, I had spent extra time on my hair and I studied the large pores in my skin while sitting in Houston traffic (there’s nothing else to do but stare at the taillights in front of you and put on makeup and sing. Oh and talk on the cell phone if there’s not a cop around. Yup, that’s it).
Arriving at work more than 30 minutes later, I left the car hurriedly and raced for the elevator since I was still running late. The elevator came quickly and I entered the elevator car, nodding “hello” to another woman already on there. It was almost 8:00 and I was supposed to be at work by that time. If I punched the ground floor button, I could save a couple of minutes by slipping across the street but I would be outside, I was not wearing a slip and everyone in the world would be able to see my well-padded goods, furthermore any wind outside would mess up my doo. The tunnel level button was already punched, so I found my little spot on the other side of the elevator space and waited for the car to reach the tunnel floor. The other lady in the elevator car had a lovely suit on that I admired and she returned my smile with a curious stare on her face. I held my head up high knowing I looked nice and professional and when the car reached the tunnel level, I exited the elevator with self-confidence and ready to start my day. Quickly, I walked the tunnel towards my building with the other lady from the elevator following me all the way there. I walked quickly and confidently and tried to remember the items on my agenda at work. Reaching the building, I was turning to take another hallway, when the lady from the elevator cleared her throat; I heard her but didn’t stop to see what she wanted, just hurried on to try to slip in to my office without anyone noticing the lateness of the hour. Again, the lady behind me cleared her throat and quietly said “excuse me. Miss, excuse me.”
I stopped quickly to see what the lady needed. Obviously, she needed to stop me on the street because I looked nice, non-threatening, and she needed assistance in some way. Turning around to face her, I smiled at her to ease any anxiety she might have and she whispered “miss, your shirt is on backwards.”
Looking down, I could see that I had put the shirt on “inside-out”. Sometimes you just can’t win, you know?
